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Edward Grey

Hi I'm 25 and my name is Edward Grey.

Everyday I wake up hating everything.

See I'm a common figure.

Never strived for 6 figures just worked for a decent check so my lights never flickered.

Life was so monotones decided to take some risks.

Startin smokin weed just to get my kicks.

Weed lead to pills.

Pills lead to injections.

Now my life's an ill fitting puzzle piece.

Sub conscious at war while my face is at peace.

I shake in my sleep, in ambition of my next high,

starting to rely on this shit just to get by.

Sweat induced relapse.

One way train headin straight for the repast..

Layed of my job now I lay on the street.

Never knew my heart could ever sink this deep

My parents and friends disowned me after they discovered my alter.

Ego won't let me check in to the hospital.

No direction in my life.

No peace no safe haven.

Fourth time evicted no place to stay

cause when the shit hits the fan nothing goes my way.

All I have is my hallucinations.

Make my intoxication reality to escape my current situation.

Now I'm stayin on my own on alley street.

Favorite hats on the ground so I can have food to eat.

Aint this fucked up?

But I'm only one of thousands.

a statistic, insolent, product of my surroundings...

More like of my sorrow.

Struggling day to day for a better tomorrow.

Thank you for your time, I just have one more thing to say.

Can you spare me some change?

The names Edward Grey.

Mr. Confinement

Mesmerized by Mr. Confinement.//I sat spell bound by the images of the ones who look just like me. //Everything I hear I apply. //Everything I see I buy. //I Never second guess the reality portrayed by my guide.// Mr. C told me it was supposed to be that way. //Don't ask too many questions conforming is the cool way. //He will confirm any questions. //I've trusted him since my adolescent, and it’s done me well, well past pre pubescent. //Because Mr. Confinement is real, //he told me that it was cool to kill. //If I wanted to be as slick as a gun, I should cock back and pull one. //Join a gang, maybe slang.// All of that is cool. //If I want that ill shit that Mr. C be rocking I shouldn't ever second guess stealing it. What's the purpose of buying it?// Girls love the bad boys. "Get me a rag and some d boy swag and even the red bones ill be able to bag."//I'm Mr. Cs number one fan. //He showed me the truth. //He even taught me how to shoot. //The rules of the game, the sets I should claim. The kind of chains I should buy. //Told me that I should disrespect women, that if they didn't respect me it was cool to hit em. //I know now if I wanna do me own stunts like Jet l I. I should drive by in this color whip, with this kinda chick. Shoot at the ones that are the same shade as me.// Don't rob the rich. rob the ones in my community. //Keep my people down, why should they prosper before I?// I should hate and hold them back. Even when my homie dies, I won't end the conflict. //I’ll go ahead and pour out some liquor. Go out and slay his killer, "Gettin rid of the pain quicker." //Buy his enemy a casket, empty the clip of my 4 5. //Shouldn’t expect to live anywhere past the age of 25. Cause the 5 0 is against me, so I should hate them too. Push a 745 down the 405 with a burner in the ride.. //All of this Mr c told me, I believe it’s how it’s supposed to be.// I should Use my mouth to rap and my legs to dance.// Cause that's the only way ill escape the trap. //If i try and use my brain ill only get snatched, back to reality so why go to school, fuck those rules. It’s better to skip an education and get rich quick.// My dad did it so why shouldn't I quit.// He told me "they" were just gonna hold me down regardless. So I should always point my finger,// Mr C made me a believer.// Grouped in with my societies stereotype.

Mr. confinement is
always right.. Right?

Swallow Your Pride

Distant from everything.

Portishead

Dark, Sensual, Trip hop. All the things I love lol. I haven't been able to get the Dummy album out of my headphones as of late. If you've never listened, you should start.

make it make believe ( 3 a.m.)

They say I'm too deep only leads to 6 feet, or the penitentiary you can pick your poison. Most nights I cant sleep. terrors dissolve boundaries between real and make believe, body trusts what my eyes perceive. Hallucinations/ Manifestation of my mental state. Fueled by the same Led that Zeppelin made.

Sinking into my subconsciousness in Lennon's yellow submarine. Babe ill never leave just do me this one thing, make it make believe, yes all this shit. Confined in this white padded space ill have time to reminisce.

I hear what your saying, the melodic music of the pied piper just doesn't allure me
I want my words to touch the youth like pedophilia, our generation is here can you feel us?
Revolutionary, Pancho Villa, Announcing my arrival like Paul Revere

There's nothing to fear, only speak about what i know. One day ill be the symbol of our people, Big Brother, 1984.

Bela Borsodi

Sex sells?

Olivier Trillon, amazing still life photographer

I guess the theme of the day is to not conform kids ! lol

Who are the Angels?

On the corner pushin' like a broke down car..
L.A L.A city of fallen stars

Where the youth sell crack to the mothers of their brothers seeds. From a young age they grow us to be enslaved. Captivated by watches and gold chains, flossed by our idols on the T.V screen. Never ending downward spiral were lynching ourselves.
Cries for help muffled out, two brothers layed out, sprayed up for wearing the wrong color.
No wonder they look down on us


Are they the Angels?

L.A L.A city of big dreams!
Should be nicknamed guilded for all that goes unseen. Reagen released all the institution inmates so the rich are roommates with the poor.
We look down on them..

Are we the Angels?

No, I think the Angels are the unborn, and we need to play the role of Arch Angel Michael.
So look in the mirror like M.J said, and change yourselves for the cities saviors
Amen.

Classic "What More Can I Say?"

Too vibed to write a full album review. Classic, point blank period. Buy it Sept. 11th

Julia Schwadron

patrizio di renzo

Black & Blue

To many black mothers singing the blues. Cause their black mans venting method is his fists and shoes. Their reply, a silent protest. Sit in sorrow. Auctioning off their lives for what?.. Foolish pride, contemplating suicide? Look through the eyes of the innocent and abused. Black & Blue.

Hope

I guess you could consider me a conscious rhymer, I'm always aware of what I'm talkin' bout, cause too many brothers chalked out for sayin shit they didn't mean. Or sayin shit they meant to the wrong man. I gotta different kind of plan. Instead of playin with White Keys, I'ma pick up the piano. Music is my great escape. Countless lives been thrown to waste. Dazed by the illusion of the hustle...Cries for help muffled..by the plea for a gold rope. We hangin ourselves. Out to dry heat up the spot. Spray for a victim, hittin children. I hope my words have a impact. I mean do we have hope?

In The Depths of Solitude

i exist in the depths of solitude pondering my true goal trying 2 find peace of mind and still preserve my soul constantly yearning 2 be accepted and from all receive respect never comprising but sometimes risky and that is my only regret a young heart with an old soul how can there be peace how can i be in the depths of solitude when there r 2 inside of me this duo within me causes the perfect oppurtunity 2 learn and live twice as fast as those who accept simplicity

Tupac Shakur

*Disclaimer* lol

Don't worry im just starting out with this poetry thing, I will get much better soon 8-)

(attempt at ) Poetry, rough draft brain splurges

Protestant rhymes so tangent from the masses. Where I'm goin' aint no tellin, but always rising to the top.

Straight out the city of Angels where the fathers are goners & the young brothers are targets. Where the youth where uniforms of red & blue/ White women clutch they purses and at the same time cut they eyes. What a surprise, always two sides. 2 face. Dark nights filled me with thoughts of flickerin lights. How I'm gonna provide? Shit how I'm gonna survive?

I'm tryna do it how nobody's ever done it. & aint nobody gonna stand in the way of it. Ima "Step Up" cause theres no actin' my way through it. Call me DUKE nuke em or G.I. Joe. Road blocks ill blast my way through em

I feel so malnourished since i bypassed my competition. Whats left? still starving, Aint no endin.

Your Halfassed wordplay is ChildsPlay compared to Chuckie. Wasting money on 7's while I'm saving up for Gene Simmons money.

City of Angeles

I love my city!! I do I do I do. There is just oneeeee thing I cant stand (besides the ridiculous highway traffic)

Hometown Uniforms!

nahhh I'm not talking about wearing a shirt and tie to your local prep school. I'm talking about the heavy restriction of free dress in your local mall, block, and any other people that has an abundance of my fellow people

yes you know what im talking about by now you dont you. If not let me give you a hint, one of my favorite colors is red yet I cant remember the last time I wore it outside

No Red and Blue because of Gang attire!

Its hard enough being a young black man growing up in the city, with the mans constant scrutiny (power to the people) & on top of that we gotta deal with our own people

*My girlfriend just confiscated a jacket I just got because it was red

*I have to wear uniforms to my school because its a crip neighborhood & they don't want us to wear the wrong colors

*I have to look over my shoulder wearing any hat

Its tooo much man.

Oh yeah!

& referring to my other post about the "good guy" thing

Not all girls are like that! just a disclaimer haha :-)

Sylvia Ji

Preety cool, kinda feminist artist. In her art, she uses themes of beauty, sex, and femininity & alot of death lol. Pretty cool stuff actually, check it out.

"All ni**as aint shi*t"

I'm so so so so so tired of hearing this. Most women (especially black women) complain about how "all men are dogs" " I wish a good one existed" & the infamous "nig*as aint shi*t" I cant tell you how many times Ive heard these words and similar ones repeated through the mouths of countless women & girls alike.

My response is, riddle me this. Why do you think that allot of guys resort to becoming "dogs"
A majority of men's main objective in life is to be with a women(s) weither it be for a relationship, sex, or a steady girlfriend.

Now put yourself in these shoes. Your a nice guys. The type to follow the rules and quick to compliment. You've had a crush on a girl for years but you cant do anything to get her to be anything more then a "best friend." She comes to you for advice, to shop, to talk about anything, but you want more then that. You see the type of guys that she dates, the "bad ass" the ones who doesn't follow the rules, the "hood boys" Who have no intention to try & be nice or caring and treat women like nothing but possessions. This same guy is the one who has been with all the pretty girls in the school. They all say "hes a dog" "hes so mean" but he gets with them regardless. What would you do if you were that kid? Would you continue to just be the "nice best friend" or would you start being an asshole so you can get the girl that you've been crushing on for years.

Now I'm not condoning this change at all, you should find a girl that wants to be with you for you. (Like I did :-*) At the same time though I can understand the mindset of these "dogs" They become what they think girls want. I just don't understand how women complain about how horrible men are when a majority of the time they are only interested in the type who doesn't care, is disrespectful, and gets around. What do they expect their pursuit to result in? They get with the bad boys, get hurt, and have a conversation with their "support/best friend/buddy the nice guy.

Ill never get it

Top 10 things that changed my life for the better

10. Art

9. Microwave (I am now capable of eating with ought my mother)

8. Realization that material things really aren't that important.

7. Realization that I shouldn't aspire to be anything for compliments or acceptance

6. My apartment burning down (living everyday like its my last)

5. Reading for Pleasure (nottttt because you just have to for school, & no reading isn't boring)

4. Not caring what other people think of me

3. My best friends

2. Music!!!

1. My best friend, The love of my life, my Bonnie, My girl Vaughan Elyse Butler-Higgins Fiddmont

Tim Noble & Sue Webster

Artists Tim Noble and Sue Webster take piles of trash & create amazing abstract artworks depicting people or animals (yes they use piles of trash!) "One mans trash is another mans treasure" lol I will never second guess that quote again

Hung Liu

Her paintings and prints often are remakes of anonymous Chinese historical photographs. Mostly those involving women, refugees, and soldiers. Her work is really visually striking. Made me do a double take lol

BlackBerry (i feel oh so grown up)

I FINALLY GOT A NEW PHONE! After what has felt like an eternityyyyyyyy. I'm happy as you can obviously tell. I have means of communication with the outside world besides my little brothers phone and carrier pigeons again !

kurt wenner

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

show me somethin'

"What am I here for? I'm a man so I can not let them tears fall. But understand Tryna get my head clear yall..This shit is on my mind/ askin' for the lord to show me all my signs. Show me somethin', cause im tryna find somethin'..I'm lost can you show me somethin?"

King of Pop

You can say and speculate what you want about his personal life. You may not agree with some of the decisions he made, but when it comes to being talented, there should be no doubt in any one's minds that this man had it! Best performer of all time point blank period.

At the age of eleven he was singing his heart out about shit there is nooo way he should know about, but you still felt the passion. Like he had endured through all of the pain and loss he was singing about. Not only that the boy could dance! here he is at 15 spazzinggg.

Go to 1:04..unreal. Here is the link

Slaughterhouse

Easily the rawest group to come out in a longgg time. All of them are extremely lyrical, and you can tell they just push each other in the booth, I love it. With each verse trying to top the last with a group full of actual 'rappers' its exciting to listen to. Even though they are all real, they cant get any commercial buzz or sell any records on their own. Hopefully they can together though! They most def. deserve it. Haven't been this excited for an album since 808's

Edgar Müller

No Julian Beever, but still amazing of course

Hey!

So its been awhile I guess huh, wassup world? I have so much to talk about, but ill spare you lol. I will get to the point, im back on it 8-)

Just Like music.

Music.

I guess with me, music has always been my personal escape. I can just relate to it. Any mood I may be in, music is always understanding and helpful. If I'm sad and just wanna be mellow, I can throw on a Thom Yorke song. If I wanna just vibe out and relax I can listen to Reasonable Doubt. If I'm angry ill listen to Hybrid Theory. Just any way I'm feeling, I have somebody who understands what I'm going through.

My whole life I have basically been surrounded by it. I was born into it I guess you could say. My moms a singer whose had the privilege of touring with greats like Stevie Wonder, & Phil Collins. Her dad Bobby Bryant was a well renowned trumpeter who recorded with Earth Wind and Fire and the Temptations. Coincidentally he mentored my future father who plays everything from the keyboard to the saxophone.

With all of that my parents never pressured me into it. I can hold my own in a couple stereotypical instruments. Bass, drums, and guitar (I'm getting pretty good at the later again because of my girl) but my real passion hasn't been in playing it, but rather exploring and experiencing it. I don't know where I would be mentally or physically for that matter with ought it. (music is also my spot in the gym ha ha) I know this has been long, but my best friend deserved this. I dedicate this post to the thing that has helped me through the most, and will continue to, music.

r.i.p. iz the wiz

Iz The Wiz is without question one of New York City’s most infamous writers of all time. He is crowned. "All time All City King of New York City Subways" the one & only person to ever obtain that prestigious honor. He died on Wednesday of a heart attack. r.i.p. to a graffiti legend

Soooooo

I have Loadssss to blog about. From personal stuff, clothes, art, blah blah

but!

I vow not to blog again until my girl does, soooooo later!

So last night

Last night I threw a hissy fit smh lol. My girlfriend went to prom/afterprom & so did all of my other bestfriends, while I was home by myself for 7 hours counting the boards on the ceiling lol. Its not even that I was mad..I just felt lame. All of my homies, my girl, they were all out partying and having fun together, while I was stuck at home by myself watching "Boys N the Hood." I just felt like that one kid who missed out on the fieldtrip because his mom wouldnt sign the permission slip ya kno? lol. In retrospect though, it wasn't even a big deal. Sure I didnt get to go out with them last night, but there are plenty of times in the past where I have, & there will be plenty of times in the future where I will be able to.

I was trying my best to snap out of it last night, but I just couldnt get myself to it. I even complained to my girlfriend..I hope I didn't mess up her night at all. She prob thinks that I would of rather her stayed home, but thats really not it at all, I actually hope she had a great time. When shes happy im happy.

I tried to wait up, but I ended up falling asleep on the floor, waking up at 530 pissed because I fell asleep. Ive been up since then, thinking about how lame last night was because of how I acted. I really hope everybody had a good time, I know they did.

I will make up for what I missed out on this year next year. Until thennnn im done ranting lol. l8!

favorite Murs quote

"Every day should be a new start. Every time the sun rise, it should erase all the BS you went through yesterday. Aint no point in trippin about what you went through in the past because you cant change it. So you might as well love what you got, and appreciate the moment that your in. Cause you might not get another one"

It's for Real-Murs

Shout out to my baby

This one earned its own post just because I Know vaughan is gonna love it. This one is for you girl :-*

Hand animal paintings

Why is this the most amazing thing I have ever seen? They are actual paintings on hands to resemble animals...& that actually look like animals. Damn

Is it possible to fall even more in love or something?

Hours feel like days sometimes..

When you start considering everything, things you do just to the past the time until you see her again

you know your in love.

Thanks ma

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

For the past few nights

I haven't been able to sleep...

I stay up all night reflecting on my life and the ones I love most. Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people. I could never grasp the concept..I constantly debate with myself over if some of Gods decisions always have a positive underlying purposes.

Can everything really happen for a reason? I don't think some shit that goes down in this world could possibly be under the will of God. I think man is solely responsible for the tragedies this world encounters everyday. When you watch the news you always feel bad, I know I do anyway; but when something horrible happens close to home, that's when you realize how fucked up this place can really be.

Have you ever had someone you love go through a pain you couldn't fix? Its not an easy pill to swallow. I don't think anyone should have to understand the desperation of finding a solution to a problem, that should have never occurred. Knowing that the one you hold closest feels alone, is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. Accepting a supporting role is easy, but to help make actual advances in the struggle is hard. Its a job that I think I'm up for though. Until I find that solution, I think I will have a lot more sleepless nights.

*sigh* and people have the audacity to say that Nas is lame.

THE WORLD IS YOURS.

I sip the Dom P, watchin Gandhi til I'm charged Then writin in my book of rhymes, all the words pass the margin. To hold the mic I'm throbbin, mechanical movement Understandable smooth shit that murderers move wit.

The thief's theme, play me at night, they won't act right. The fiend of hip-hop has got me stuck like a crack pipe. The mind activation, react like I'm facin time like'Pappy' Mason with pens I'm embracin .

Wipe the sweat off my dome, spit the phlegm on the streets Suede Timb's on my feets, makes my cypher, complete Whether crusin in a six-cab, or Montero JeepI can't call it, the beats make me fallin asleep I keep fallin, but never fallin six feet deep I'm out for presidents to represent me (Say what?) I'm out for presidents to represent me (Say what?)

I'm out for dead presidents to represent me

I wanna get this stuff for my girl

She loves zebras, so one day ima hook her up with some dope ass zebra apparel.

In my quest for everything zebra ive actually found some pretty ill shit.